Steven's Writing Clinic

1. The difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free.
2. The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx
3. The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is Marxism. --Heidi Hartmann [The Unhappy Marriage of Marxism and Feminism]
4. The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. -- S. T. Coleridge
5. The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband.
6. The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one.
7. There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. -- James Holt McGavran
8. To keep your marriage brimming
   With love in the marriage cup,
   Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
   Whenever you're right, shut up. -- Nash

1. If your wife wants to learn how to drive, don't stand in her way.
2. In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy.
3. In marriage, the bride gets a shower. But for the groom, it's curtains!
4. Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for him. -- Rich Little
5. Joint Checking Account: a handly little device which permits my wife to beat me to the draw.
6. Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage, which is never advisable. -- Oscar Wilde
7. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
8. Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first.
9. Love: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.
10. Man and wife make one fool.
11. Many a wife thinks her husband is the world's greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it.
12. Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give. -- Cass Daley
13. Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when to be mute.
14. Marriage is a rest period between romances.
15. Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
16. Marriage is a trip between Niagara Falls and Reno.
17. Marriage is an institution--but who wants to live in an institution?
18. Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...
19. Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
20. Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out.
21. Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.
22. Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.
23. Marriage is the sole cause of divorce.
24. Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.
25. Marriage still confers one very special privilege - only a married person can get divorced.
26. Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and around the hands and feet of the man.
27. Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license.
28. Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth. -- John Lyly

1. A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. -- Guitry
2. Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't. -- Borge
3. Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy.
4. An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. -- Agatha Christie
5. And I shall love thee still my dear, Until my wife is wise.
6. Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie.
   Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
7. By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates
8. Correction: Instead of being arrested, as we stated, for kicking his wife down a flight of stairs and hurling a lighted kerosene lamp after her, the Rev. James P. Wellman died unmarried four years ago.
9. Dear Mrs, Mr, Miss, or Mr and Mrs Daneeka: Words cannot express the deep personal grief I experienced when your husband, son, father or brother was killed, wounded, or reported missing in action. -- Catch-22
10. Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat.
11. Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
12. English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation.
13. Feminists are OK, I just wouldn't want my sister to marry one.
14. He who knows nothing, knows nothing. But he who knows he knows nothing knows something. And he who knows someone whose friend's wife's brother knows nothing, he knows something. Or something like that.
15. Honolulu -- it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. -- Ken Dodd
16. Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping.
17. I am in total control, but don't tell my wife.
18. I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick Martin
19. I do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate middle-ages couples with failing marriages meeting at a Brussels hotel for a group grope. -- Tynan
20. I think of my wife and I think of Lot, and I think of the lucky break he got.
21. I tried a mail order bride, once, but she was damaged in the mail, and I had to return the unused part for my full refund.
22. I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about 'short' and 'cheap'? -- Phyllis Diller
23. I've been trying desperately to save my marriage for the last 35 years.
24. If all men were brothers, would you let one marry your sister?
    If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry. -- Chekhov
    If you never want to see a man again, say, "I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children..." - they leave skid marks. -- Rita Rudner

Five Balls of Life

In a university commencement address several years ago, Brian Dyson, CEO of Coca Cola Enterprises, spoke of the relation of work to one’s other commitments:

Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them work, family, health, friends and spirit and you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back.

But the other four balls family, health, friends and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life. How?

• Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.
• Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.
• Don’t take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as they would be your life, for without them, life is meaningless.
• Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live ALL the days of your life.
• Don’t give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
• Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us to each together.
• Don’t be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
• Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it’s impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give it; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
• Don’t run through life so fast that you forget not only where you’ve been, but also where you are going.
• Don’t forget, a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.
• Don’t be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.
• Don’t use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved.

Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.

Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery and Today is a gift: that’s why we call it ‘The Present’.

1. Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence.
2. Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.
3. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.
4. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.
5. Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.
6. Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit.
7. Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever.
8. Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings":
   * The Engagement Ring
   * The Wedding Ring
   * The Suffe-Ring
   * The Endu-Ring
9. Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
   * In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
   * In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
   * In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
10. It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener.
11. Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
12. It's true that all men are born free and equal, but some of them get married!
13. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.
14. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.
15. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
    Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.
16. Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.
    Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere!
17. There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married... and then it was too late!"
18. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
19. They say when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense.
20. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
21. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through hell.
22. A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's really attractive. -- Bruce Friedman
23. A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage. -- Marvin Kitman
24. A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while ladies are present.
25. A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.
26. A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. -- Helen Rowland

新闻晨报2007年3月2日B2版讯，“计生委将建不良记录档案，名人富人超生将受重罚。”通过不良记录档案，使他们不能参加各种奖项的评选。

请大家把它当作Argument和Issue分别思考一下。

记住：思考之后再看我给出的参考思路。

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我的Argument理解：[假设你已经上完GMAT Argument训练]

由于是建议，很容易就祭起Conclusion Hints的四个范式：

1、One-sidedness：有没有副作用？强迫人们只生一胎，万一孩子不幸中途夭折怎么办？

2、Causation：是不是因为罚款不够高所以多生？不是。是因为有这个需求。

3、Sufficiency：所提出的建议能否解决所设立的问题？不一定，名人富人（及/或其配偶）可以申请其它国家国籍来解决这个问题，比如新加坡规定，华人公民第二胎政府补贴13万新币，第三胎补贴22万新币，鼓励华人生育。此外，富人的多生问题是不是最重要的超生问题（HG）？

4、Necessity：是不是唯一的解决方案？显然不是。

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Issue理解：[假设你已经上完GMAT Issue训练]

1、抽象词：（1）什么是名人、富人？定义是什么？能不能一刀切？（2）不良记录档案适用于什么范围？是不是每个范围都公平，有用？（3）重罚到底怎么核算？（4）有没有追溯力？法无追溯力，这个条约有没有？如果没有，如何调节这种前后的不公平？

2、这个问题牵涉到的主要矛盾：个人的生育权和国家发展的矛盾。国家有没有权力调控个人生育权？

3、把它看成政府话题，你就多了很多范式理由。

4、把个人成就当作成本来抵制名人富人的生育权是否公平？比如，一个伟大的科学家，得了诺贝尔奖，但是生了3个孩子，不让他得奖？

5、对弱势群体的保护往往是对强势群体的削弱，这里也是这样。富人穷人不能多生，穷人多生怎么办？是不是会造成这种更不公平？穷人利用国家资源多生育，富人生育却不占用国家资源，我们是否会只限制了不占用资源的一方？

考试名称：新托福考试

标题：07年3月3日的题目和06年8月26日的题目完全一样

来自CD的消息：

提示：记得上第一节课的时候就和大家讲过，机经还是有用的。有些题目会重考，有些词汇会重新出现。希望大家继续重视机经，我的网站上会不断加入新的机经总结内容。

提醒各位申请本科、研究生院的同学：

3月份有两次比较有规模的留学说明会（估计主要是本科申请，研究生院为辅），请有意向的同学准备好材料，去看看。

[1] 2007年3月9日，2007年美国留学说明会

说明会日程：
17:00-18:00  美领馆签证官员讲解签证政策
18:00-19:00  专家评述美国留学最新动态及咨询
18:00-20:00  11所美国院校现场展览和交流

参展院校名单：
1. Wayne State University
2. Wright State University
3. University of Northern Iowa
4. Carroll College
5. Our Lady of the Lake University
6. Saint Mary's University of Minnesota
7. East Texas Baptist University
8. SUNY Geneseo
9. Savannah College of Art and Design
10. University of Utah
11. Oklahoma Christian University

说明会时间：2007年3月9日星期五晚上6：00—8：00
说明会地址：金威万豪酒店宴会厅，上海市南京西路399号（上海美术馆对面）

[2] 2007年3月14日，春季美国高等教育说明会（著名的林顿展[Linden Tour]）

说明会日程：
1．如何正确选择美国大学  晚上：7:00-7:30
2．美国大学申请技巧      晚上：7:30-8:00

时间：2007年3月14日星期三 晚上6:00 – 9:00
地点：上海市华山路250号希尔顿酒店2楼宴会厅

参展院校名单：
1. American International College , Massachusetts
2. Azusa Pacific University , Hawaii
3. California State University - San Jose State , California
4. Chapman University , California
5. Fairleigh Dickinson University , New Jersey
6. Foothill and DeAnza Colleges , California
7. Grand Valley State University , Michigan
8. Purdue University , Indiana
9. Saginaw Valley State University , Michigan
10. St. John's University , New York
11. The Ohio State University , Ohio  Sarah Hughes
12. The University of Toledo , Ohio
13. University of Minnesota , Minnesota
14. University of Portland , Oregon
15. University of Rhode Island , Rhode Island
16. University of Scranton , Pennsylvania
17. University of Southern California , California
18. University of Wisconsin - Green Bay , Wisconsin
19. Vanderbilt University , Tennessee  h
20.  Wittenberg University , Ohio